A Star in My Dark Night

• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
• Chapter 6
• Chapter 7
• Chapter 8
• Chapter 9
• Chapter 10
• Chapter 11
• Chapter 12

• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• 
  

  Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

CHAPTER – 1: Through the Stars

“It’s really good to see you back.”

“It really is.”

I and Daanika hugged.

“It’s been like, what, three years?” Daanika wondered.

“But it feels like thousand years, dear,” I smiled.

“Well, yeah, tell me about it.”

Daanika’s been my friend, my best among all, since childhood. We were like sisters for life and still are. No one has been in my thick and thin like she did.

After college and after all those girly tears and hugs, we drifted apart. She got her job in Bangalore, loved and married a guy there from her work and settled herself with a life there. She has even got a daughter, now. I have seen her only in pictures she had sent, though.

And, about me, after my college, I got a job in IT firm here in Chennai and now got transferred here in Bangalore, giving myself an opportunity to see and have my best friend back.

I prepared coffee for both of us and sat on the couch.

“Since my marriage, you never thought of seeing me once, right? I mean, I always should be the one who calls you, who texts you and not even once I get back one from you? ” she resented.

I took a sip of the beverage, dropped it on the table and hugged her tight.

“Here, I am, with my whole life to spend with just you.”

“Back off, my coffee, idiot,” her coffee tinkled against the saucer. She slowly kept it on the table and hit me hard. “Get your hands off me.”

“Oh, God, I feel fat in your abs. Someone’s becoming neighborhood aunty, uh?” my hands still around her waist.

“Everyone will become one, once they get married,” she struggled to untangle my hands off, “Now, get off.”

I let off my hands and laughed. “Where’s my cute little daughter, Aananya?”

“She’s in her day care. I will have to pick her up by 8. ”

“You could have brought her with you here, couldn’t you? ”

“Could have. But with helping you in setting up your apartment, I don’t think so. She’s too naughty to let us do our work, here.”

I took a sip, again. “Mm-hm.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll see her tomorrow,” She took her sip.

“Speaking of naughtiness, Savitha, Can I ask you something? ” she asked while making a bulls’ eye – eye contact.

“Go ahead, dear.” I dropped my cup and gave her my full attention.

“What happened to my old Savitha, the mouth of never ending sea, the Goddess of naughtiness? ”

I laughed. “Why, what happened to her, now?”

“You can act fine and go about making everyone believe it. But before doing it, remember, it’s me, whom you are staging this play with.”

She had seen right through my eyes and only she could do this, this perfect.

“Oh, come on. I am still what I used to be, Daanu.”

“No, you’re not.”

Yes, I am not. Could this woman ever be wrong?

“You’ve become so silent, nowadays, Savitha. I know there’s a deep pain hiding behind this silent mask.”

I looked down. “No,” I mumbled. I couldn’t even look at her eyes and tell that.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and comforted me. “I know.”

Yes, this hug, these words and her warmth in her comfort is what all my soul needs, right now. Oh, God, my heart forgets how this feels like. She wrapped me for like half a minute.

She gently loosened her hands off, slid her hair around her ears and chilled the coffee with her blow off her mouth.

“Your mom called me last night,” she said while taking a sip from her cup.

“Please don’t talk to me about it.” I pleaded.

“No, honey, we have to.”

“Why, why do I have to? Can’t a woman live single throughout her life?”

She gave a sneer at me. “But, why? Why do you want to?”

“What do you mean, ‘Why?’? I’ve got a decent income. I am well off taking care of myself. Why do I need another guy to do all these stuffs? Why do we have to follow every stupid society norms and . . . .”

“Stop your motivational talks on me. I know what this is really about.”

I looked at her with my eyebrows narrowed.

“Okay, tell me what this is really about.” I crossed my legs on the couch and turned to her, starring.

She sighed deeply, turning her face away.

“Oh, come on, you know everything. Spit it out,” I insisted.

“It’s about Chandran, isn’t it?” she said still looking away from me.

“What is about with whom, now?”

She paused for a while. “Darling, I know it’s too hard for you but you have. . . .”

“There’s no such things as hard for me. There’s nothing,” I shouted.

“Nothing? Oh, come on, he has used you, cleared his messiness in his life and what, when he’s finally happily settled, he hadn’t even cared to check on you and here I and your mom worrying about. . . .”

“What did you just say?”

“Oh, come on. It’s true and you know it,” she pointed her fingers at me, “Even if you deny it.”

I turned my head and said silently, “Get out.”

“What?” she screamed.

“Get the hell out of here,” I yelled hell at her.

She nodded and choked back, “Alright, you keep on kicking people off your life who genuinely care for you, honey. One day, you will ruin your life just because of him and what worse, you will have nobody.”

“I need nobody. I know how to take care of myself.”

She shook her heads sideways and stormed out of my apartment.

I began to whine and cried out loudly with my hands over my face.

She is right, right about me. If she isn’t, who will? Nobody could be right on me than she could, and yes, not even me.

Sometimes, heart forgets to forget things that keeps weighing on us, weighing down only to fall pieces apart. It just couldn’t accept the reality for God’s sakes.

But, Why?

Chandran, she say.

May be. Indeed, yes, it is.

I stepped to my balcony and looked above, into the sky.

My journey with Chandran is hundreds of light years through the stars.

Through these innumerable stars in this wide dark night . . . . . .

. . .

CHAPTER – 2: Let’s Give Time a Time

It was eight years ago. I and Daanika were in our third years of our college. Every night, on our terrace, on the top of a big sized chimney on the corner, that was a spot, an escape from a hustle and bustle of the word to the world we can happily dwell in, we used to gaze through the stars, talking about all the gossips held in our college.

That was the days, the days of our lives.

“Hey, Daanu and Savitha?”

“Hi, Chitra aunty,” we said in chorus.

“Can you please feed Chotu? He’s been weeping that he would prefer to eat at Daanu and Savitha rather than me feeding him when I weep at a Mother-Daughter-in-law series.”

We both laughed. “Yeah, sure aunty. We’ll take care of him,” Daanu nodded.

“Hey, there you little witty bunny.” The kid came running towards me and I lifted him.

“Thank you so much, dears. Wonder what that Mother-in-law would say to her son to avenge her daughter-in-law.” We smiled her way back.

When we were pacifying Chotu while feeding him, we heard a truck approaching my house.

“Did it stop at your house?” Daanu asked.

“I don’t know.”

We approached the other corner of our terrace and looked down to see the truck. A lady with her two sons were unloading their packages.

“Oh, they are finally here,” I said as we saw them.

“What?”

“A new tenant to our first floor portion, Daanu.”

Daanu “oh-oh”ed at it.

The lady was in her 40’s. Her both sons were so young, one was tall and the other one with his full beardy face and quite a rugged look.

“Couldn’t figure which one is younger and which one is elder. One look taller and the other looked matured.”

“Does it matter as long as they are hot and handsome,” Daanu said.

“Daanu? Inappropriate talk before a kid?”

“Oh, you mean this little brat? Last night, he winked at Geetha aunty’s daughter. He probably knew everything we know at our age.”

“Hey, Chotu? What is this, uh?”

Chotu looked down out of embarrassment and still looked so cute. So a little kid’s thing.

I looked away and gazed down at the family. The matured beardy boy, suddenly looked at us. I shared a smile down at him. Well, if it had been for a normal boy, he would have suddenly gained an excitement and would have waved at me and what he had done was to just ignore my smile and went inside.

What was that? What is he?

As soon as their arrangements were over, I moved to my bed. But I couldn’t sleep for a while. That ignorant look bugged my sleep.

Somehow, somewhere, behind that silent rugged mask, I could sense something wrong deep inside it.

What was that?

Clueless to what was it, I slowly closed my eyes, wondering what it would be, to my sleep.

Usually, I wake up before my dawn, feed my cows with hay, clean it’s dung for its use as our bio gas while my dad do milking on them.

Later on, I’ll get ready for my college. But, today a special tradition should be done. Whenever, a tenant came in our house, we’d welcome them by giving in our home made rasagulla sweet as our moving day gift to them.

And as it is, I stepped at their doorsteps with a plate full of rasagullas. I knocked at their door and the lady opened with a smile on her face. I smiled back.

Thank God, at least one masters the art in his family.

“Hi aunty, I am Savitha, living downstairs,”

“I know, sweetheart. The landlord’s daughter, right?”

I smiled at her and offered the sweets.

“Welcome to our village and to our home. This is our home made rasagullas and we’ll invite our tenants by giving this to them.”

She beamed at me, “Aw, aren’t you sweet? Come on in, honey.”

I stepped inside. I looked around. She decorated the whole house so wonderful.

I sat on the couch in the living room. “You used to embroider, aunty?”

“Well, not well. It’s just my hobby.”

“Not well? These are aw-awesome. The curves of the thread couldn’t see more perfection.”

“Oh, thank you so much, dear” she beamed at me.

“You know what, aunty? I used to paint and draw sketches. If you like, we can collaborate our arts and make some master pieces.”

“Oh, I’d love that beauty. Why don’t we talk about it while I get you some tea?”

“Oh, no, aunt. I’ve to catch my bus to my college.”

“Oh, please, dear. I swear I won’t take much time,” she ran inside the kitchen, “Wait for just a few minutes.”

“Okay,” I sighed.

Just then, her son walked in with his one side bag clinging on one side of his body.

“Hi,” I waved at him.

“Oh, hi. Akka.”

“College?” I tilted my head.

“Haan, yes, Akka. I am Vishwa from Meenakshi College, ECE, second year.”

“Oh, I am too riding that same boring road but, you know, with a different vehicle. St. John’s College. Third year.”

He laughed and nodded at it. Seems, the other one is the only outer space material in the family who didn’t see evolution to human smile.

“Hey, you know, I have a friend at your college. If you need anything, let me know. I’ll get my friend to help you through.”

“Oh, sure. Thanks, Akka.” He smiled at me.

“Oh, don’t call me Akka. I’m just an year older than you. You can call me ‘Savitha’.”

He nodded and smiled, when his mother came in, handing me a cup of tea.

“Careful, Sweety. It’s hot.”

I smiled and received it. While I was blowing the tea to chill, his mother called for his another son, “The Robot”.

“Chandran? We have a guest, here.”

“Yes, coming, “ a voice sounded from the room.

So, Chandran it is, I thought.

“What does he do?”

“He’s working in IT firm.”

“Working?” I pointed at his another son standing here, “I thought he’s your elder son, seeing his height.”

They both laughed and so did I, just when her supposedly elder son arrived while buttoning his shirt sleeves.

I beamed at him and waved, “Hi.”

He gave a small smile which he had struggled so hard to deliver.

“Oh, Hi,” he then pointed his younger brother, “Are you coming to college are not?”

“Yeah, I am coming,” his brother turned to me, “Bye, Akka, bye mom.”

I waved back at him.

“Be careful. Don’t ride too fast on your hustle.”

“Yeah, ma.”

Soon after they went, she apologized for his son’s gesture, “Please don’t mind his rude short welcoming, honey.”

“It’s alright, aunt.” I took a sip, “Please don’t mind me asking this as you owe me one.”

She chuckled. “Go on, dear. I won’t.”

“Is there something wrong with your son? I mean, any things from his past, you know.”

She gave a sad smiled sigh and looked down. “He’s been the funniest guy and humorous guy you could possibly meet.”

Oh, yeah, that will be the day, I thought as she continued. “Just a couple of months’ wreck, torn out his soul character of charmness.”

I kept the tea cup down, giving her my attention. “May I?”

“Oh, yeah, you can. His dad cheated on me with another lady and abandoned on us, a couple of months back,” she said as she wiped her tears, “And since then, he’s been taking care of the family expenses. Lots of embarrassing in the place, we lived in, we neither could live there nor afford a rented place. So much of a search led us here in this village.”

“Oh, I am so so sorry, aunty, that I asked. I shouldn’t have brought this up.”

“It’s okay, dear. May I request something?”

“Yeah, whatever it may.”

“Only your mother knew all about this. It’d be great if you keep this as a secret in our neighbourhood.”

“Yes, yes. You have my word.”

“Thanks, dear.” Her smile after that was so hard to digest for me.

“Don’t worry, aunt. Everything will be alright, soon. We’ll always be there for you, no matter what.”

“Oh, it was like in million years we heard something like that. You have no idea what it means to me, dearest. Our hearts kind of forgot how it really feels like that.”

I held her hand with a warm smile, “It’s going to be fine, aunt.”

She placed her another hand over mine and chocked back to try a smile at me.

“Okay, dear, you’ve got college and here, I am, boring with stuffs.”

“Nothing like that. I’ll see you soon after my college.”

“Always welcome, my dearest.”

All those days of my life, pain was just falling from a tree and getting mama’s beatings for me since my childhood. I was a pain-in-the-heart-not-known girl. All those words, I heard from her, I could hardly imagine a terrible thing.

I couldn’t concentrate my lectures. Daanu asked what was wrong, often. After all, this was the one thing I couldn’t tell her.

From a humorous character to a defensive rock hearted, the wonder of pain could change this much, gave Chandran a soft spot in my heart. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the load of responsibilities he had to bear at his young age and with these thoughts that disturbed me to the very bottom, the whole day went.

Two hours past the dusk, as always, I and Daanika were in our chimney spot and chit-chatting about the day. Our talks suddenly saw silence when Chandran came up to terrace. Our heads were following his walk till he reached one corner of the terrace, exactly 90 degrees to ours. He, then looked up into the sky and was watching the stars. We both blinked at each other and wondered what he was up to. He, then mumbled something we couldn’t hear. We were sure he’s pronouncing something but we could seldom figure.

I wanted to go over and talk to him but I’m afraid that I might talk something which could make him uncomfortable. He had probably lost every trust in people when his own dad let him down.

So I thought I should give him a time.

Give time a time.

For an opening.

And when it did open, the journey we had, brought many things in our path.

Flowers, butterflies, shiny meadows, sunshine and a lots and loads of smile.

And yes, lots of thorns and pains to myself too.

Where there are roses so are the thorns, aren’t there?

. . .

CHAPTER 3: My Balancing Wheels

It was almost a month, then. I was beginning to lose patience, patience to wait for an opening. I used to smile at him often every morning. Sometimes, he’d give me back one and most of the times, he’d be this classic ignoring Chandran.

Since my teen, nobody has ever ignored me like he did.

My solution is to simply do the same.

But life brings the most delicious food on the table only when we are about to end our meal and get up for washing our hands.

Oh, yes, we got the “Opening” finally.

But, not so fast. The opening to that opening did not open well.

It was a Sunday morning.

“Hey, Chotu, if you don’t eat this idly, I will tell your mom about Geetha aunty’s daughter.”

“Oh, no, Akka. You cannot eat them at all.”

“Why not? You don’t like the taste of it?”

“Oh, please, I like the taste of idly but not the big fan of white stones.” He shook his head sideways.

I laughed at his cute little wit.

“Okay, wait. We had made poori for breakfast. I’ll bring some.”

“Oh, yeah, I like pooris,” he tilted his head, “And I like my Akka more than it.”

“Aw! Really?”

His innocent awed looking nod put a big smile on my face. And that smile saw a break when I saw Chandran at my doorsteps.

My heart was in a shock.

“You can come in. You won’t find any doorbells in village houses.”

He gave the shortest smile that human race had ever seen.

“Thank you.”

“How can I help?”

“There’s, um, my bike was out of petrol. So . . .” He moved his hands around that he literally painted a landscape in air.

“Jeez. Even I could scribble better than that in the walls.”

“Silent, Chotu,” I signalled shush at him and turned to Chandran, “So?”

“I want to go to a butchers’ shop to get some meat for the meal and then pick up petrol for my bike. So if you could lend me your dad’s bike, that’d be helpful.”

“Oh, sorry. I really wish to. But my dad had taken it for milk supply.”

“Oh.” He looked down.

“But, hey, you could use my cycle. Meat store is not that far. You could peddle your way.”

“But, um, I,” he looked down again, “I don’t know how to ride the bicycle.” He said in the softest way possible.

Chotu laughed so hard. “Shu!” I said to him.

“Okay, I don’t need anything. I could go on foot.”

When he turned to leave, I tried calling him.

“Hey, wait, if you want, I could go to the meat store and pickup meat.”

“I said I don’t need anything.” He shouted and stormed out.

I was clueless on his rudeness. Yes, he’s in the terrible state that I could heard of ever in my life but to shout like that before a kid is unacceptable, isn’t it?

But, deep down, there was an acceptable pain behind it.

It was our chimney spot time. I was talking to Daanu about that thing happened in the morning.

“The guy’s a maniac or what?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know”

“Hey, check it out.”

Chandran was coming and not to 90-degress-across-us-coming but straight-to-us coming.

“Hi!” He looked down.

I resented but I did say a Hi and so do Daanu.

“I am really sorry I behaved hard today morning. I would really regret that.”

“Chandran, I know you’re devastated. I can understand. But to shout like that before a kid?”

“Yes, I know,” he looked down, “I am sorry.”

“But, why? What is the need to be so rude always?” I asked him straight to his face so softly and gentle.

He kept silent.

“He won’t Savitha. Even if we try to help him out, he won’t get it.” Just when Daanu dragged me out, he finally looked up to our face and spit the words.

“Who taught you cycling, Savitha?”

“Why? My Da . . .” Just a second before finishing that word, I got how he might have felt.

“Yeah, your dad, right? Ever since my childhood, my Dad never spent time with me or my brother. Whenever a street kid, during our childhood, mocks about us not knowing how to ride a bicycle, it just . . .” he shook his head so hard, “And just this three months back . . . “

“I know, Chandran. I am so sorry.”

“No, No. Whatever my past, that shouldn’t be the reason to yell before a kid and to you. I am extremely sorry for it.”

He turned and went half way to leave.

“One thing, Chandran.”

“Yes?” He turned back.

I went before him, “So you do owe me one, right?”

“Uh?”

“What do you say I teach you how to ride a cycle and then we are even, uh?”

“Um, Okay, I guess.”

I took my cycle out in the street. He was too shy and terrified when I made him sit on the seat.

Then I noticed a thing.

A strange thing.

He smiled.

A real smile.

I asked him to peddle while I pushed him from the behind. Then, after some push, I did the traditional thing during every “Learning Bicycle 101”.

Yes, I stopped pushing and yes, as I expected, he fell.

And then, he fell.

And then, he fell.

And after that, no twist and needless to say, he fell.

He fell. He fell and he fell until he got a bump in his head.

“Okay, okay, lesson learnt. Time's up.” He said while he lay on the ground after a fall.

I crouched beside him. “Lesson learnt? You hardly peddled an inch. How’s that lesson learnt?”

“No, I mean, I learnt why my Dad didn’t teach me how to ride a cycle.”

We both laughed so hard.

“So, your mom’s right. You are funny.”

“Oh, yes,” he pondered. “I forgot I had a humour sense. I even can’t remember the last day I made a joke and laughed this hard.”

He beamed at me wondering at his irony retrospection.

He then added, “Well, then, the lesson learnt from whatever-this-teaching-is-101 . . .”

“Hey, I taught you well, you were just a bad student.”

We shared a laugh. See, he’s now teasing me? Interestingly so different and somehow it felt nice.

“Alright, the lesson learnt from this awesome-teaching-101,” he gave me a sarcastic look which I sneered at him as well as grinned, “No matter how hard is to carry the past throughout your life, you can’t undo it. Certainly not,” he shook. 

“But, eh,” he shrugged, “You can always laugh about it.”

And we did laugh at it.

“Hey, don’t worry. You still can learn cycling by using the balancing wheels.”

He gave that one precious smile and said, “Yes, Savitha, I sure need a balancing wheels now, at this point in my life.”

I smiled at his inner sense.

After this encounter of ours, he began to smile and tried to be happy and slowly I could vision his true character raising from his heart’s horizon.

And, this was how our opening to our journey through the stars opened its doors. 

. . .

Chapter 4: Until that one Star raises

I really liked this face of Chandran. One day, he was this “Robot” guy and now when it got rebooted, he was totally a whole another person and it was in the greatest way possible.

And with his awakened humour sense, he couldn’t get any better. What I admired in him was that he made fun of every wrongs that went on his life.

Somewhere between wondering how a deep pain could change one’s soul character and how one could make fun of all miseries and deep pain of his life, I really started to like him.

Like him a lot.

He was a new addition to our chimney spot. When it comes to talks, well most specifically, “Gossip talks”, every girl has to bow Chandran. Yep, heard right. Even us, Daanu and I, couldn’t even qualify to compete with his office gossips.

I would always wonder, had anyone even heard of girl’s listening to a boy’s constant loquacious, gabble and always chatty talks?

And, now that I think of, I could feel a guy’s untold suffering when he’s with a chit-chatty girl.

Poor boys.

When everything was going unbelievably great, things started to become weird again. Yes, he started to ignore us. His talks gradually scaled down. His smile width reduced. He would come, talk not more than five minutes, would give the lamest excuse and pass out.

It gets worse and worse.

His smile even lesser and lesser.

His talks spanned down and down.

One day, it got so weird to its peak. He literally avoided my waving of ‘Hi’, one evening. He looked down and ducked out. In that same night, when we were at our spot, he came up and when he saw us, he immediately went down without looking back. He thought we didn’t see him but we did.

Just when I thought I could understand this guy and could make him open up.

Could I ever get this guy?

Why would he keep me wondering on him?

Always.

One night, we were up the terrace a little late. When we get to our spot, he was already there. Yeah back to 90 degrees across us. We sneaked behind him when he looked at the stars and didn’t notice us. I touched his shoulders. He startled up a little and we shrugged at it.

“What is with you, again?” Daanika started as she starred.

“No, nothing.” He looked down.

I crossed my hands. “Then what is with your ignorance all over again?”

He kept looking down and didn’t utter a word for a while.

“Yeah, that’s right.” Daanu sighed, turned away and shook her head.

I gave him a strong eye – contact that he got no way except to talk up.

He pursed his lips and then muttered, “Trust is a tricky thing.”

“Eh?” Daanika called.

He gulped. “Trust. I really want to trust somebody. Trust me, I really want that. But, uh . . .”

“But?” I said softly.

“You both know what had happened in my life and when I shared it with you guys, I realized not only that I shared but also I trusted it with you.”

“But you just said you really wanna trust someone.” Daanu pointed out.

“Yeah, as much as I want that to happen, it also freaked me a crap out of it.” He choked out and back, shaking his head and pursing his lips.

“Dear, slow down a bit.” I patted him up.

“Trust me, I am saying it again, I really want to trust,” his tears welled up, “But when I did, when I finally open up, this trauma of the past starts to haunt me and I just so snapped, uh, . . .” he wiped his tears, “And so I ended up closing it again.”

When he uttered those words, I am so positive that his dad was not only his only problem. He had something beside, besides it.

“It’s gonna be fine.” I said.

“No, it’s not,” he took a step back and shook his head, welling up. He looked up and pointed at the sky, “Look up, there are, what, like a million stars out there in the space, spreading light all over the horizon and still what, still the darkness prevails a big time. Look over. Everything.” He spread his arm through the sky, “Dark, Dark, Pain, Pain and only suffering out of it.”

“Okay, mister. Spare some minutes with me?” I said looking sharp as a beam at his eyes.

“What?” He blinked.

“Daanu, tell mom, I’ll be out for a while.”

“Alright.” She smiled.

“But where?”

“Oh, you will know, mister.” I nodded and grabbed his hands down to the streets. I got my bicycle with me and asked him to hop over the back seat of it.

“Can we ride in my motor bike?”

“Riding in a motor bike? What, are you eight?”

We rode through the valley. And through the ride, I could see Chandran confusingly smiling. He really was enjoying this chaos.

After a while, I stopped and parked my cycle behind a tree.

“Stop blinking and just sit down.”

And I sat beside him.

He was gazing at this lake I brought him in.

His eyes went wide, jaws dropped and went speechless to that scenic beauty of the night sky, it’s reflection of the total picture on the lake and the fine wavelets travelled gently till it fades.

He just couldn’t utter a letter.

I looked deep at it. “So, what do you think?”

“I cannot start explaining how beautiful this scene is.” He startled.

I tilted my head at him. “Oh, really? Don’t you sense it is still darkness?”

He looked culpably down.

“I mean, ‘Dark, Dark, Pain, Pain and suffering out of it’.” I mocked as I did him.

We both laughed.

“Chandran, let me tell you something.”

He turned to me and gave his full attention.

“Our whole universe is dark. It was never made of any color and it never will be and so is our life.” I looked above. “Our whole life, as we know it, is a complete dark night. And look at these stars and moon? They are like our family and friends. They constantly struggle hard to add some light on it. But sadly, as you said so, which was true in fact, their light was still not enough.”

I shook my head as I said ‘Not enough’.

“But,” I resumed, “It was all, until that one star, the right star, raises in your life’s horizon.”

“The Sun.” He smiled.

“The Right Person.” I untangled the metaphor.

“That will be our dawn.”

“Until then, look around,” I spread my arm around, “With all its flaws in the supposedly ‘Dark, Dark’ night,” I paused a bit as he laughed and turned to the lake, “Look around and envision how beautiful this is.”

“Chandran”, I continued, “I know there’s something more deep down your heart beside what I know but life, whether its day or night, sun or moon and the stars, is still beautiful in its own way, so much. You just have to look at it and rejoice in it because, you know what,” I looked him in his eyes as he did so, “The dawn is on its way.”

He gave a gentle warm smile and looked at the scene. He, then looked at my eyes.

“Savitha, there is a star, the right star, already in my life.”

I looked down and smiled.

“I mean, there was.”

I suddenly looked above, at him.

“Was? What was?”

“A girl. There was a girl in my life.”

“Who? Who. . . . was that?”

“Bhoomika.”

. . .

CHAPTER 5: The Destiny

(Chandran’s narration on his past)

It was way back when I know no worries.

No sufferings.

No heartbreaks.

Nothing.

Except happiness, smile and repeat.

And that couldn’t get better when I got my offer letter to a job after my college. It was exciting for me on the first day of my job.

In the very first day, I bagged many friends. And our thoughts all synced so well. It was all smiles for me on my first day.

In the lunch break, post my meal, I came to the original hall we were asked to seat. We had our meal real quick and came there so early.

As I looked around the hall that contains only few people, my eyes were locked onto one girl’s.

It was like I am possessed or something. I couldn’t move my eyes from hers. I still couldn’t untangle the mystery behind it.

When she turned and saw me, I did the bravest thing I could do.

I suddenly turned away my head and ducked.

Did she see I saw her?

Or she was randomly looking around?

Well, I got answer to that few months after.

The day was over as soon as they split the inmates to different technology in which we would get training on.

I wished she would be in the same technology as mine.

With that silly little hope and wish, I closed my eyes off to sleep, that night.

Next day. I got up early as I cannot be late on my first training day at my office. Our whole crew I bagged the previous day too came early. Every one of us were kept in same training hall as mine.

We were almost first when we entered the class. We rechecked the list posted outside the hall for our names and I prayed that one of the other names listed were hers.

We almost filled all our seats in one corner of the class while the other side was so empty with hardly one or two sitting.

Only one seat behind mine was empty in our side of the corner.

I know my odds are tethered against but I couldn’t stop praying for her to come in the same technology training and sit behind my seat.

Well, out of surprise, my first wish succeeded.

She came in, alone.

“Yes” I thought.

Her looks circled around and she caught the other side of our corners, exactly 90 degrees to my seat and sat there, alone.

Then the fate with its magic kicks in and did a little wonder.

“Hey, there, why don’t you come over here and join us?” Poojitha, my friend, called.

Oh, I love Poojitha for that sensible act of hers. I silently thanked her.

She walked in slowly and smiled at us.

“Hi, I am Kalai, Kalaiselvi,” Kalai introduced so.

“I am Sneha.”

“I am Karthi.”

And so followed by Poojitha, Siva, Praveen, Thiru, Sundar, Poornima, Ajith, Vignesh, Thilak, Ragu, Uday, Kumaran, Medha, Jenni, Akila, Gayu and Shilpa.

And finally me. “Hi I am Chandran.”

“Hey, and your good name?” Karthi interrupted while I was going to ask that.

Damn Karthi.

“Oops, Sorry. I forgot. My name’s Bhoomika, from Mumbai.”

So, Bhoomika, it is.

As so, we were having fun the whole day but couldn’t get a chance to well mingle with her.

Well, for one reason, I am being so nervous and shy when I find a girl attractive.

And the other reason, these boys, especially that Karthi and Sundar, didn’t give me a chance.

With these two reasons, my chance for an opening faded its way off. I thought I should give some time for me to get comfortable around her and then talk to her.

It had been a week passed, passed with not more than a single sentence to her.

Until, one day.

“Hi, Chandran.”

“Hey, hi.”

Okay, heart, don’t panic. You can do this, I told myself.

“I heard you’ve notes from Hadoop and Hive. Can you send it to me?”

“Yes, your good number?”

Good number? What was that? I couldn’t be more of a dork.

She blinked and then laughed.

She, then gave her number.

And that was our opening.

The lamest opening.

I wasn’t uncomfortable around her anymore. Our chats, both live in person and virtual, gradually scaled its duration. And when we did, I realized all these shyness in the beginning were just an initial slip off.

We became good friends, good as her number.

Dork, me.

Well, about Bhoomika? She was a naughtiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Always smiling, being crazy and making hardly laughable jokes were her thing and making fun of her hardly laughable joke was my thing.

My humor and her craziness really hit it off.

We both liked each other’s company.

And one day, it got weird again, super weird.

In a nice way.

I mean, in an excellent way.

After our day off, we usually walk together until we depart our ways to our PG rooms.

And one day, when we did, Bhoomika held my hands.

Yes, held my hands, firm and tender.

I panicked so much that I stopped walking for a second.

She smiled and let my hands off.

Yes, the-elephant-pouring-mud-on-itself story.

I didn’t utter a word until I reach my PG room.

I even forgot to have my dinner when I got reminded of it by my roommate, Karthi.

The day after, my weirdness was growing and panicking when she sandwiched my hands with her too, way often.

I neither wanted to panic nor wanted her to let my hands off because of my panic.

Sad for me, both things became an unseparable couple.

The thing that bugged me was that I know she knew I was heart-beat-raising panicking whenever she did that but still she smiles, let my hands off and after some time, she will do it again.

Not more than two days or three after it, I got answer to it.

Our training days were getting over and we were set for its final show.

We were asked to do a real time team project. Bhoomika was in my team.

 One day, we were working late in the night for our project. We were the only team staying back.

“Let me fetch some water for you guys.” I said.

“Yeah, my throat was also dry. Let me accompany you.” Bhoomika said and came with me.

There will be no one in the cafeteria at that time and we will be alone.

And so would I expect, my fear harmones got back on its track. Except that, it “Everested” this time.

So, we were fetching water.

And she took a step little closer to me.

I stepped back with my sweats all over my face.

She smiled.

She did it again, came a little closer to me.

By that time, my bottle got filled. I closed the cap and turned.

“Wait up, weirdo.”

That’s right. My heart was about to explode.

I slowly turned to her, looking my face down.

“Tilt your face, idiot. My face is up here.”

I slowly looked up.

“Could you ever be comfortable around me?”

“Uh, um . . . “

“’uh-um’ what?” she looked sharp at me, crossing her hands.

I stayed silent.

“Have you wondered why always I hold your hands inspite of you being an inept-panic-striken-weirdo?”

Yes, I stayed silent.

“Uf,” she shook her heads, “It’s because you to get comfortable with it but you didn’t.”

And again, I stayed silent. Only this time, I smiled.

She shook her head. “Okay, I am sorry. I won’t do it, again.” She turned and was about to leave.

Just then so, I grabbed her hands.

I smiled and held her hands till I reached back to our hall.

How could she ever break my walls one by one?

I tried so hard to make everything circle around friendship.

But it didn’t.

Our training days were over. For our job location to get confirmed, it takes four to five months. Till then, we would be in our bench, learning stuffs and doing some minor jobs. Most of the times, we would spend our time in cafeteria.

One fine day, I and Bhoomika were sitting alone.

“Have you ever had belief in horoscope?” she asked.

“Dork Alert: You do, right?” I said.

She slapped my shoulders.

“Tell me your zodiac sign and your birth star.”

“I know my zodiac sign but birth star.”

“Stupid, okay, tell it along with your day of your birth.”

“Alright, my sign is Aries and my day of birth is Thrusday.”

She chuckled. “My sign is also Aries.”

I laughed. “Why are you asking me all these things?”

“I am looking what type of girl suits you as your wife.”

I laughed. “What?”

She scrolls her phone. “Gotcha.”

“What?”

“Okay, the wife of your life looks preety much like this.”

She showed her photo dressed in beautiful silver gown wrapped in silver Dhuppata.

Hiroshima and Nagasaki both in my heart.

She, then looked down and blushed.

So adorable but instead of enjoying her cuteness, I was busy fighting the explosion.

“I know, right?” She smiled. “Chandran, I’ve never been like this. I mean the moment I saw you, I flipped,” she turned up to me, “You know, on our first day of our job, I was constantly looking at you. It was like I am possessed or something. On our lunch break on the same day, when there were only few people, I was literally starring at you and when you saw me, I suddenly turned away. I saw you were staring at me. I was like, “Did he caught me checking him out?” So I slowly turned at you. Then, you turned away from me.”

Yes, I gave a “Oh, my God” look.

“Then on our first day at training, you guys were sitting in a group with only one seat behind you being left empty. I was about to sit there just then my instincts strikes, “What would he think of me if I sit around that bunch of boys?” So I turned and sit somewhere else while Poojitha called me in. Oh, God, I love Poojitha for it.”

Then, I gave a “Oh my God, this is what destiny looks like” look.

“Later, I tried so hard for an opening. My lamest idea is to ask for your notes which I already have so that you will ask my number. And you did it in the weirdest way.”

We both laughed.

She continued. “And I gave thousands of signs which you acted nothing up on. I got fed up and here I am. I know you think I am crazy but . . . . “

“I love you, Bhoomika.”

Just then she was about to finish her line, I interrupted.

She smiled, blushed and was happy to the core.

I looked straight to her eyes and spelt the words.

“I tried so hard to make it look like friendship. But it didn’t work and I am glad it didn’t. I know this is not a cute proposal and I knew you deserve much more but I . . . “

“I love you, Chandran.”

Just then I was about to finish my line, she interrupted. So, beautifully.

She smiled and I held her hands.

I know, this was so unlike me and so was to her.

I was never been around a girl like this before.

I guess love is all about things you do you’d never done.

And it happened really fast.

The Opening.

The Process.

The Proposal.

Everything was really fast.

And so did “The End”.

. . .

PS: If you wonder, why so many names were mentioned, here's what. They are really my best friends from my Office. It's a least tribute I could give it to them for always being there for me. 

Thank you guys.

Chapter – 6: Life Went Blind

Initial phase of every love is all butterflies-in-the-stomach kind and so was ours. Even, the blur image seems so glowing and sparkly.

Life is so set on right gears and travelling smooth in the highways. We went out. To malls. To theatres. To beach. And so drown in each other’s love.

Our roads were full of roses.

But . . .

I know I hate that “But” but life is a hard reality, isn’t it? So here’s what . . .

But Love is an endless journey.

And in that journey, we can’t travel in rosy roads forever. It doesn’t work that way.

It has roads of fear, roads of doubts and roads of confusions. We might wanna take a step back and think this through. So we’ll take a U-turn and travel a little backward. We might find another person, along a travel, so attractive.

But, amid, through thick and thorns, whether the roads are wrecked or smooth as a highway, we hold our hands with our partners, smiling at each other and travel. Endlessly.

Telling each other love is so easy.

Breaking up with each other is so damn easy.

But, between these two points, there should be a fight. Fight for our relationship to keep it intact.

There, in that aspect, our relationship gave up the fight and eventually leads to another point.

The Break up.

“Have you ever wondered we never fight with each other since we officiated our love?” I asked while having a break in cafeteria.

“Mm-Hm.” She took her sip of coffee.

“I have this friend who loves this girl. They always fight and call themselves as ‘Tom and Jerry’. Will love work that way? Uff.”

“Chandran, I wanted to talk to you.”

I crossed my hands. “Yeah, Sweety.”

“I am going to get transfer to Mumbai, my hometown.”

“What? I mean, we everyone got chances to choose our own job location. Didn’t you get that chance?”

She looked down. “I did.”

“Then, why, Bhoomika?” I said softly.

“I think . . . .” She sighed, “I think this is not going to work, Chandran.”

“What is not going to what, now?” I narrowed my eyebrows.

She stayed silent and kept looking down.

“You didn’t mean our love, do you?” I sneered at her.

“Chandran, please understand me. Choosing my job location is like choosing between you and my parents.”

“What? That’s ridiculous.”

She began to cry.

“If I stayed here with you, I know our love will get serious and at one point, I surely will end up making my mind that there will be no life without you. And it really freaked me out.”

I sighed so deeply. “Your words seems so Latin and Greek mixed to me, Bhoomika. Please tell me, clearly.”

“My Parents won’t accept our love, Chandran. You are from Tamil Nadu and I am from Maharastra. Even our languages aren’t mutual. My Parents are so strict in our family marriages and very well caste-oriented on it. They won’t nod on our marriage. So, I think, before we get serious, it’s better, if we end it . . . .”

“Get out of here.”

Just then she was about to finish her line, I told this.

“Uh?” She blinked.

“I said get the hell out of here.” I yelled hell, literally in the middle of the cafeteria.

She stood up, looked around in embarrassment, cried so hard and mumbled, “I am so sorry.”

She then left, left me and flew to Mumbai.

Suddenly, even sparkly and glowing images went blur. Rosy roads, now pricked me with its thorns.

I was nowhere, lost in all its ways. My office friends tried to console me. Sadly, I don’t like pity talks and I ended up avoiding them when they tried to do so.

My restroom, my terrace and my bed is where I ended up when something reminds me of her, to drain my tears out, to shout my anger out.

And usually, that something which reminds me of her is everything.

I tried to message her often. She always used to avoid me in every way possible. She would say, “I am at work”, “My family is around”, “Dad came. TTYL” and so.

I know I would hurt myself but still I take my phone and try to get her back into my life. At one point, I confronted her, letting all my emotions on her. And she replied, “I am so afraid that I might love you back if I began to message you. That’s why I am avoiding you. I am so sorry.”

Since then, I stopped messaging her. I thought I should understand her feelings. So, I kicked myself out of her life, forever.

I guess all that, “I’ll be with you forever,” was now over.

But, heart is a tricky thing. Even at times, I stopped texting her, I never stopped loving her. Grieving over that was an endless thing.

And then, life hit me with another blow even before I could stand back in my life.

My mom called me urgently. . . .

. . .

“And, Savitha, you know the rest, right?” he wept.

“It’s alright, dear.” I placed my hands on his shoulders.

“I don’t pray God for luxury stuffs. I don’t even pray to give a problem less life. I don’t even ask him to provide solutions to my problems. I am so overwhelmed that I need just one little break. Break from everything in my life and think nothing. Just sit quiet and calm. Nothing else.” He sighed a bit and turned to me, “You see, all my life, only a problem comes as a solution to my problem. Like when I was grieving over my love, here there is, ‘Get another one. Faint forever.’ It’s like, when I complain about no enough light in dark night, and there, ‘snap’, moon light was also taken away.”

I stayed silent, clueless on what to say.

“You know what, my dream is to open my own IT Company. When I was loving Bhhomika, I was so conscious about my money. I thought I could save my money and rent a small place for my office and start small. Now all my savings were spent. I thought life was just blur and I thought I could find my way out, somehow. Now, it went blind.” He looked down.

“Okay, mister. Hear me out. And don’t worry, I am not gonna console you.”

He smiled.

I continued, “There’s only two problems in your life. And, no matter what, you cannot find solution to your first one. She’s already long gone. And please don’t hate me for saying this.”

“Okay?”

“Chandran, she seems to be a nice girl. And so, in spite she did so many mistakes, she deserve a happy life. And she has a right to make her life right. If she thinks leaving you is right, then so be it. I know you are going through a lot right now and what she did is unforgivable. But, you know, deep inside, your heart knows, that she is worrying as much as you do when she left you.”

“Yeah, she did.” He nods on it.

“So, instead of worrying over her, forget your hate and bless her. Bless her to have every fortunes of life, to have a happy life. Love is all about loving forever even if your relationship ends, even if she left you. I mean, in today’s world, many girls leave their relationship for another guys. I guess leaving you for her parents is not that bad.”

“Hm-hm,” he nodded, “As much as it is hard to accept, you are right. She’s a good girl.”

“Yeah, good as her number.”

We both laughed.

“So, lets head to our another problem. But if you will, I should say your problem is actually a way to achieve your dream, if you look it in a different perspective.”

He looked surprisingly confused. “Like?”

“You have your family bills to take care of, paying your brother’s college fees and so and so. And that is your push. Your motivation to go an extra mile. You marginally could pay your bills with your current income. You cannot travel like this forever. You need a side hustle.” I thought for a while. “You only work nine hours in your office. What can you do to earn in other spare time?”

We thought for a while and then, Chandran came up with an idea.

“I guess I could freelance. Like web or app development?”

“Excellent idea. There are many platforms like fiverr for freelancing.”

“And if I could raise money and if I could develop great deal of clients, I could rent a place for my office and also I could continue my business relationships with my clients from freelancing.”

“Yay”, I yelled, “See, your problem is actually a push to the way for your dreams to achieve.”

He smiled with a sense of hope. “I guess so.”

“And I am a good painter. I could learn design tools like Figma and Adobe XD to come up with creative website design pages and you can develop it into applications.”

“Holy, yeah, that’s even better. This is totally going to work. We are gonna be partners.”

“Hell, yeah.”

We both ‘Yayed’.

For the first time, I could see hope arising in his life. He couldn’t be more happier.

Yes, there will be surprises and shocks, awaiting to shake him and myself, too.

But, yeah, we travelled . . .

CHAPTER 7: May be some other time

“Can I come in?”

I was amazed when Chandran was at my doorsteps. Amazed because of his look, a new look.

He got his beard neatly trimmed, his hair cut with a new style I hadn’t seen in any guy before.

He was like a hot rock star.

“Atta boy, champ.” I raised my eyebrows.

He smiled and got in.

“So what is with your new look?” I beamed.

He laughed. “The beard and that rugged look was my new one, Savitha. This look of mine was the original one, the one with how I used to be.”

“So, back to feet, uh?”

“Thanks to you.”

We shared a vibe at that moment and smiled at it.

“Alrighty then, shall we get onto our business, partner?”

“Oh, with pleasure.” I chuckled.

“So, I went through this fiverr online freelancing platform and I think it’s good. If we make it right, we could get something out of it.”

“Huh-huh.”

“Every freelancers should offer three packages of services. They are ‘Silver’, ‘Gold’ and ‘Platinum’ and we have to assign our prices accordingly. So I thought of providing front-end only web app or mobile app as a silver package and for the gold one, may be on-premises end to end web app or mobile app and for the top package, we’ll provide a fully cloud integrated mobile or web app.”

“That’s good. Well, the prices?” I questioned.

“I am not sure on it. May be you come up with it.”

“Alright, let me think.” And as I thought, “Rs.9999 for silver, and may be,” I kept my finger on my chin as I thought, “Rs.24999 for the gold and, I don’t know, 44,999 for platinum?”

“That’s sounds a reasonable ask and as of the freelancers I’ve gone through, ours is quite economical given the services we are providing. Great thinking, partner.”

We high fived.

“So, what’s next?” I asked.

“Nothing but just sit back and wait for our first client to ping us for their order.”

“How long will it take to attract such a client?”

He thought for a while, “Based on my research, on an average, it takes a month.”

“What? We can’t wait that long and sit idle.”

“Well, what do we do?”

We thought for a while and no one has gotten anything, until I did.

“Hey, I’ve got a niche.”

He crossed his legs to listen.

“My Uncle is a librarian in a public town hall library. That library, as it is maintained by Government, wasn’t maintained that well. It consists of around 2000-4000 books. Even my uncle doesn’t know which book is present and which is not as it wasn’t arranged. People take book and left it in some random place that it was so hard to pick the same again.”

I drank some water and continued.

“So, let’s say we develop a LAN connected HTML web page where if we search by book name, the details such as the book’s place of presence, its author, its picture and so on will show up. And if it was searched by author’s name, it would show all the books written by that author.”

“And also, we could give option to add a new book that just got arrived. That’s Savitha-at-her-best idea.”

He got so excited.

“Let’s go to that library, now.”

“What? Now?”

I sneered at him.

“Oh, yeah, now.” He jerked a bit.

I got ready and was waiting at the downstairs for him to get his bike. But he came without one.

“Where is your motor bike?”

“Motor bike? What, are you eight?”

We both laughed.

So, we rode in my bicycle with him sitting at the back and reached the town hall library. We talked to my uncle and the other officials. They thought it was a brilliant idea and as our 8000 rupees was an economical ask, they readily nodded on us and gave us the project.

We were so happy that we started our project right away as we signed at it. For two days, we collected data of all the books and fed it in the excel worksheet. While he was working on feeding the data in the database, I was working on the design. Then design came so perfect and user friendly and so, there’s no otherwise for the officials at the library to approve it.

Chandran started the development right away and did the infrastructure work. I helped him here and there but he did the most of it. Within a week and half, we completed the project and set it up in the library. Librarian were so happy and so the readers of it.

It gave Chandran lots of courage and hope in his life. I was so happy seeing him happy.

Chandran stressed to split the money in exact half for each of us as our pay. I shook my head sideways and didn’t agree to it as most of the work was done by him. He should get paid with the most of the amount. I was convinced half minded with him and accepted the half as my share of profit.

Then, I thought of a brilliant idea to spend the amount on.

A gift to Chandran.

And I know exactly what it should be.

I bought him a nicely stitched man suit.

When I presented it to him, he was so surprised.

“Did you put every money you earned on this?”

“May be.”

“Oh.”  He was astonished.

“I guess you’ll need it someday. Like when you open your own office, everyone should know who the boss is.”

He looked down for a while, “I guess you’re not the only one who had thought of a gift.”

He smiled, grabbed my hands and took me to his room.

There was a large easel and a whole painting kit that an artist need in his entire life.

It took a while to relieve myself from the shock.

“This is my gift to you, partner under one condition.” He looked at me, smiling.

I was in still in a shock. He snapped at me.

“Uh?” I startled.

“The first paint you draw with this should be gifted to me, okay?”

Before my consciousness strikes, I was hugging him and he hugged me back.

No memory loss could take this moment away from me. It was a bliss. I was total lost in a magic world.

I started my paint work immediately and I knew exactly what should I paint to gift him.

To paint what was exactly in my heart.

I finished within couple of days and it came out so well. Whenever he asked me to show it, I used to tell that I would show him when we get our first client from our freelance. I wanted him to be on his full track in his life when I bring that to him.

He was just getting back in his life and this new thing might freak him out, I thought. May be one more good news would cheer him up and that way, he would be on his feet.

And that day came not later than ever.

One night, Daanika was under the weather. I was standing alone by the chimney spot, gazing through the stars.

Just when Chandran came up running.

“I’ve got two news, Savitha.”

“And that is?”

“One is really good news. We’ve got a client from fiverr. And not only that, it’s a whooping platinum order.”

We both yayed and high fived about it.

“And the next one is?”

“And that one, I don’t know whether that is good one or bad one. I just don’t.” He turned and moved back.

“Just tell what it is.” I crossed my hands.

He sighed and gulped. “Bhoomika, showed up.”

I was so startled that search of words became impossible.

“Yeah, she got transferred here, today morning.”

“What did she say?”

“She said ‘Hi’ and then asked ‘How you have been?’ and I said ‘Fine’ and asked the same thing back.”

“That was it for the whole day?”

“Yes, I mean, what else I could do. She tried so many times throughout the day to talk to me but some or the other way, I ducked myself out of it.”

“Why? Are you still mad on her?”

“No, she’s Bhoomika. I can’t stay mad on her forever. I was just afraid that I might start to love her, if I start talk to her.”

“Oh.”

I cannot utter a word.

“I mean, the pain might vanish off one day but the scar? It’s forever be exposed.” He sighed, “I am afraid that my love for her is always there and would get expose back if I started to talk to her again.”

It shook my soul off and I remained silent till I get my conscious back.

“Okay.”

“Hmm.” He looked down.

After a while, what I said was the hardest thing to bring up ever in my life. I gulped so many times to and forth to bring that off my throat.

“I guess you should get back to her.”

“But, how Savitha? Her family won’t accept me and even my family is quite caste-oriented too.”

“I think I have a work around for it.”

I devised a plan and proposed it to him.

“Will this work?”

“Everything’s a ‘No’ until we try it.”

“Okay, let me try.” He ran through his head and hairs. “Hey, you know what, I have a weird feeling that it might work. I ain’t sure about it but what if it does? Oh, that was my dream of my life.”

“Chandran,” I called as he looked at me, “It is going to work.”

He smiled at me and he was so happy about it.

“Hey, what about the painting? You said you will gift it to me when we get our first client.”

“May be some other time.”

. . .

 CHAPTER 8: The Theory of Time Machine Cycle

“Will it work, Chandran?” Bhoomika asked, defensively hesitant about it.

“To be honest, Bhoomika, even I am doubtful of it.” Chandran said.

Bhoomika looked down in despise.

“But there’s no better way and we don’t have anything but to lay hope in it.” He leaned forward, “You know what, getting over you is the hardest step which still bugs that I can’t find a way through it. And, to be honest, getting back together is the last thing I wanted in the process of getting over you. But, here we are, we met again and this bubbling belief that the ‘Us-thing’ gonna happen in my gut is real and it means something. It’s like fate whispering, ‘I still have a plan for you guys.’ But, if you don’t believe on it, then I am not gonna force you, Bhoomika. It’s your life and if you want to stay away, then so be it.”

She stayed silent and looked down.

“Okay, Bhoomika. I can understand. I am sorry if I disturbed your peace and I swear it won’t happen again.”

He stood up and turned to leave.

“Chandran,” she called, “A day hardly passes without loving you more even after the breakup and with that distance from here to Mumbai, there, the love just accelerates its scale and I didn’t even try to stop as I loved loving you. But,” she gasped and looked him, “When I take that phone and start typing, ‘Shall we get back together?’ my parents face came right away and if I did get back together and again freaks out, for what, to leave you again, I would kill myself to break your heart.” She shook her head sideways, “As much as there is love for you, so is this fear and when pondering over the point of letting you down once more, there there, the fear overwhelms and engulfs over.” She sighed.

Chandran sat back and leaned forward, “Oh dear,” he struck back over the unconscious 'Dear' and hesitated.

“Oh, if you can’t call me ‘Dear’, then nobody dare so.”

They both smiled and felt the vibe waving at each other.

“Okay dear, as terms and conditions applied,” they laughed.

“I should have told you this long time when you expressed your fear in the first place.” Chandran gasped, “Bhoomika, to be truthful to my heart, we didn’t love at all.”

Bhoomika choked back and startled backwards.

“As much as it is rude to say, it is a truth to say. And I tell you why.” He cleared his throat, “Because no one will start to love from the point they officiate and express their love for each other. Expressing our love is just a way of telling the world that we are going to do this goofy romantic gestures and it’s strictly not okay to judge us. That’s it. Just retrospect what we did. We went out and we talked all along throughout the night.” Chandran smirked, “That’s just dating and flirting around. The point where you freaked was where our actual love begins and if we had sorted it out together, that’s where our first successful step towards the journey begins. Instead what we did? You took your own decision and I let you go, so easily. I wanted to solidify that we both made mistakes. You should have just shared your fear instead of taking your decision on your own and I should have comforted that it’s okay to feel fear, feel doubt because it is okay but I just acted it’s okay to let you go. And, here now, dear, Universe again gave us this another chance because it sure wants us to be together and that is not going to work if we . . . “

“Chandran, you don’t have to explain this much for me to say, ‘I love you.’ That one dazzling look from your eyes is enough.”

“I know there’s a ‘But’.”

“You’ve just seen through me in the ways nobody would have.”

They smiled.

“Okay, Bhoomika. I know there’s fear and we have to accept it but we can’t let it stay and how do we do it? You tackle it with our hope,” he pulled his chair along with him closer to Bhoomika, “Imagine, the best scientists around the world had come up with a time machine and we both get a chance to travel in it together. And we chose to see our future. As we hop into the machine and as the machine starts, our heart beats will die out of fear, trust me.”

They laughed out.

“But as soon as the machine stopped, we, then, would be in 10 years from the present. In one summer, we both saw a couple in their mid - 30’s, along with their kids who were spending time with each other in Ooty. In that one night, that couple, who bears their name as Chandran and Bhoomika, were sitting by a camp fire and gazing through the stars. My daughter is kissing me and when you, her mother, asks for your kiss, I am sorry, she beats you.”

“Hey?” She was angrily happy about it.

“Wait, the travel isn’t over. The point, my daughter kicks you, there from the house, come running is our son, who jumps in and hugged you tight and kisses you all over your face.”

“Oh, please don’t stop talking.”

“So we again hopped into our machine and go further to see what our kids pursue in our future. Our son becomes a great coder and our daughter pursues her career in art of painting. And they grew to be great only to find their love partners. Our son falls in love with a Bharathanatiyam dancer and our daughter falls in love with a writer and a novelist guy. Now, we became so happy that our kids turned out to be great. Now we again hop to gain forward to the future to see our ‘Old Us’.”

“Okay, I will take this up, now.” She cleared her throat with the greatest beam and grin, “In one summer, there is an old couple in their mid - 70’s, along with their grandkids, were spending their time with each other in Ooty. In that one night that couple, who bears their name as Mr. Chandran and Mrs. Bhoomika Chandran, ”they both blushed as she narrated that way, “were sitting in a camp fire gazing through the stars. My grandson is kissing me and when you, his big boring grandpa asks for a kiss, I am not so sorry, he beats you, damn hard.”

“And my sweet granddaughter came running and kisses me all over my face.”

“Oh, we’ll see about it.” She sneered at his face.

They both laughed.

“Now, tell me, even if you stage yourself with another guy in a wedding, will your hope scale down?”

“Not even zero point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent as my son is gonna kick your ass.”

They both laughed and for one minute, they just saw into their eyes, just to see their love beating their own fear with that axe of hope.

And, he spelt that magic words.

“Bhoomika, Love is an endless journey. You think, our marriage is our successful point but it isn’t as there’s no destination for this endless journey. Our marriage is just a token to travel more but the journey will not be over.”

They nodded to each other.

“I mean, our life may end one day but not our love. It speaks for generations after generations. Our parents are now with us because our grandparents have loved each other. We are here because our parents have loved each other and now for our kids out there, can we now love . . . “

“I love you, Chandran and I promise I will keep doing that with you throughout my life.”

Just then, he was about to finish his line, Bhoomika told this.

“Oh, come on, just let one of us finish our proposal for at least one time.”

They both laughed.

Chandran was all happy when he narrated this whole story to me by our chimney spot.

As much as I am happy about it, I realized it’s time that I have to let go off him.

Sometimes, I cry about it and I hate about it that I didn’t express my feelings quite early.

I didn’t know that my own line I said to Chandran once turned around and came against me.

“Love is all about loving forever even if the relationship ends, even if he left you.”

Putting myself before that line was so damn hard.

I wished so hard for the fate to whisper, ‘I still have a have a plan.’

So damn hard, to realize the reality.

To see our journey is reaching its dead end . . . . .

. . .

CHAPTER 9: A Journey at its edge of a Dead End

Their love was aggrandizing.

And as a well-wisher, I should be happy for them.

Which I could not.

I tried but in vain.

Whenever, I tried to talk to him, normally, he often would chat with his girlfriend or talk to her in a call.

I was like, “Oh my Heart, please work for me. Don’t go to people who hurts me. You are supposed to pump for me, not for people who avoids me.”

Which my heart could not.

The distance gains.

The suffering increases.

And the pain lasts.

Forever.

While I was fighting with my own self, Chandran’s life moved at a steady speed, with no brakes applied. For the first time, I resented his happiness.

Oh boy, I hate myself for it.

It didn’t see any progress of feeling better for the next two years when life hit back Chandran with yet another blow, a huge one.

His mother met with an accident.

I rushed to the hospital the moment I heard it and I thanked God many times as I could when I found she was okay. Few curable fractures. Not that bad.

The real problem showed itself, thereafter.

For two years, Chandran and I worked so hard in freelancing. He, then, earned enough, to rent a small place, could give salary for five people he would hire for considerable amount of time.

The business almost reached its ribbon-cut-open. He saw a place at the centre of city, and he approached for ads to many agencies.

The number of clients he has worked for in freelancing was fairly enormous and the good amount among them gave word that they will continue their business with them even after he starts a company of his own.

Many among them urged him to start the company as soon as possible as they were in desperate need of a products to prioritize.

But, now, with this blow, he has to spend his entire amount of money he kept for his company in hospital bills.

And if he failed to start company now, he would lose his clients.

I started to get in touch with banks for loans.

But the situation, now, however was inevitable to accept what it was.

He was nowhere, now.

“I am nowhere. I lost, Bhoomi. The company was also a part of our plan. This is not only about my career but also our whole life.” He shook his head multiple times in multiple directions. “I don’t know what to do, now.”

Bhoomika pulled his chair closer to him and leaned forward towards him, “Come closer, I have a secret,” She whispered.

“What?”

“Shut up and come close, idiot.”

“Okay,” he came close, “Now what?”

Bhoomika looked around and kissed him for a brief at his cheek in a way no one around them saw.

“I was burgled this morning and I lost my jewels on it.”

As much as Chandran smiled at the kiss, he struck back in shock.

“What?”

She slid over the jewels from her handbag and kept it under his palms. He immediately took his hands off. “What is this, Bhoomika?”

“Please, don’t be hesitant, dear. I can’t call myself a girlfriend when I can’t turn up for my boy when he needed me the most.”

“But, how . . .”

“Don’t think of repaying me. Think of it as your money, so you will get courage out of it to go with your own pace, own flow. It won’t give you any pressure about it.”

“Oh, Sweetie,” he held her hands, “The sense of doing this to my girlfriend will give me courage and hope to give a rocketing go.”

“It’s not about your girlfriend alone. It’s about us, our love and our life.”

“Yes, it is.”

Well, I realized one thing when Chandran told me all this. May be, Bhoomika deserve a guy like Chandran more than I thought.

More than I deserve him. . . .

So, Chandran rented a place, hired 5 fine techies, ribbon cut open by his mother and dia lit by Bhoomika and started to work.

Work a real hard.

The original plan was that he will leave his job and full-time-full-focussed in his start up.

But, now its half-time-full-focussed in his start up so that he can keep his job.

Nine to Six in the day, he worked in his job and from 6 to 12 in his start up. Most of the times he skips his dinner and slept in his company.

He hardly had time for his girlfriend which she had totally understood it.

If he seldom spends time with his girlfriend, then where will I be?

He didn’t speak to me  for three months straight.

Not a text.

Not a call.

Not a word.

After three months of tiredless, restless working day and night, he raised money to release his girlfriend jewels from collateral and returned her.

Returned her with his kiss.

Gradually, he called off his job and concentrated his everything he got on his company.

His Company saw a sharp surge in its growth, raising huge profits and was always one of the top gainers in stock markets.

Within two years, he started 4 branches. His face was all over in times magazines. He inspired many youths over his motivational speech. His life path became an idol for many of the young entrepreneurs in the country.

He moved out of our village when he started his company and then I saw our journey seeing the dead end at its vision distance, not far.

With his spike in this growth graph, the vision distance become clearer, become closer.

With two years of rare texts, rarer calls, rarest visits, time passed.

With two years of constant struggles to get over him, forget him, move on which totally flushed into the gutter, time passed.

But, one day.

“Hey, Savitha. How are you?”

He called me over the phone.

“Yes, good and you?”

“I don’t know, I am nervous.”

“Why, what happened?”

“Can you come to airport? I wanna talk to you.”

“Okay, but why?”

“Oh, please, come.”

So, I went.

With a slight a bit of expectation.

With a slight a bit of hope.

“Hey, know what? Bhoomika’s parents are looking for a groom. I think its time I execute the plan we derived.”

Yes, needless to say, my hope shattered.

“So, you learnt Hindi?”

“Check.”

“You know what to speak?”

“Check.”

I smiled.

“You are going to do fine, dea . . .” She chocked back, “Chandran.” She corrected.

“You remember this suit I am wearing?”

It was the suite, I presented him as a partner.

“I noticed it the moment I saw.”

I smiled.

He smiled.

I wished for a vibe but. . .

“Listen, Savitha. With this hustle and bustle going on in my life, I may haven’t talked to you, avoided you, not in purpose by the way,” he said, “But, I won’t say sorry because we are best friends.”

Yes, best friends, it is.

I nodded.

“Instead of saying sorry, I wanted you to know you are important as much as Bhoomika in my life and I promise you that it will never change in any part of my life except the death part.”

I didn’t utter a word.

I smiled.

“So, wish of luck?”

“Oh, best of luck, Chandran.”

“Thanks, Savitha.”

“Bye.” I said.

“Bye.” He said.

I immediately turned away and started walking fast.

Am I crying?

Crying because when he said, “Savitha, there is a star, the right star in my life”, I thought that right star was me?

Or because he later said that the right star was Bhoomika?

Or because whenever he said I am his partner, I thought he meant me as his life partner?

Or else because when he said he had two news to talk, I thought one news was we had our first client and the second one was that he loves me?

Or I am still crying because when he gifted me that whole painting kit, I hugged him out of my love for him?

Or because I wanted to shout at him that we are not best friends, I love you Chandran?

No, not because of all that.

I cried, so hard, because it was too late.

Too late to get him back.

Yes.

Too late.

“Hey, Savitha.” He came running back.

I hustled to wipe my tears off.

“What about the painting you owe it to me?”

“May be I’ll give it to you at your marriage.”

. . .

CHAPTER 10: A Heaven for My Angel - Part 1

"Hey, What is your problem? I am watching you stalking me for the past three days. Should I call the police?" Bhoomika's mother shouted at Chandran.

"No, no, aunt. I know Bhoomika, your daughter. I am her friend." Chandran said as she calmed, "I just want to talk to you for few minutes. Shall we?"

She nodded.

So, Chandran walked her to the park. They sat on a bench.

He was so freaked, adjusting his ties off even if it was rightly tied, wiped his sweat falls off. He was adjusting his throat while searching for words to start.

"I think I saw you somewhere." she kept thinking, "Oh yeah, you are that young successful entrepreneur, aren't you?"

"Haan," he nodded wobbly.

"Name's Chandran, right?"

Chandran smiled, "Yes."

He was so tensed that his hand kerchief was already wet with the wiping of his sweats.

"Are you okay?"

He looked down for a while and gave a worst start possible.

"I love your daughter, Bhoomika."

She gave a wide-eyed blink, her jaw dropped. She slowly stood up and turned to leave.

"Aunt, wait." He ran behind her, "Just give me two minutes."

"I have nothing to talk with you." She walked fast, past ahead.

Needless to think, time to use the weapon he had saved for.

he approached even faster and fell on her feet and never left her feet, whatsoever, until the lady had no way than to give two minutes to spare for.

"What?"

They sat back on the same bench.

"Your daughter Bhoomika is an angel, aunty. Seriously. Not to impress her. Not to impress you."

"So?" She crossed her hands and looked sharp.

"When I proposed her, she readily said yes. But that yes didn't last longer. Within two months, she broke up with me saying she can't cross her parents' line. She said that she loved her family more than me. As much as hurted and angry I was, I understood her. I mean in this fake bearing faces, when girls of this age leave her boyfriends for another guy, I thought leaving me for her parents was not that bad. She's a wonderful daughter."

Chandran could see her face blooming with pride but she controlled it so hard.

"The days she was in Mumbai, we didn't talk, we didn't text, literally, no words at all. I really thought our love was over. But the fate had different ideas. She came to Chennai, again."

She was then, quite resented.

"The control we had, began to lose it's grip.I really don't know how but we slowly saw each other, slowly talked, got comfortable around and sometimes we started to flirt." he looked down, "Trust me, aunty, she almost spelt 'I love you' like a miillion times but choked back. I, myself, saw her crying many times. Our relationship demands a next step so hard but she fought against it. It made her miserable." He looked up and caught her eye contact.

"Then, it struck, how a girl could manage to do all these things for her parents? She sacrificed her happiness, her love, her peace and keep fighting in the process of choosing you. She's a best daughter that no one could get. I realize what if such a best daughter raise my daughter as a mother?" He began to drop a few tears.

"Aunty, you might have known from my interview that my dad abandoned me at my young age and then whole family expense were on me. A good dad will always do sacrifices for his family and no matter what, he would die before something happens to his family." He gave a warmth smile. "I had started that even at my young age. I am already a father now without a kid, without a wife. And with Bhoomika, being a best daughter, without a doubt and needless to mentioin, she would make a best mother. More than being a great couple, we would make a good parents to your grandkids, just like you had been to my Bhoomika."

Chandran clearly saw her mother giving a small smile at her corner of the lips. Without a pause, he continued.

"Aunty, as I said, Bhoomika is an angel and hear what, angels always lives in heaven. You should come have a look at the house I had built for her in Ooty. It will be a paradise for my angel to dwell her life."

She literally beamed at Chandran.

"You know what, as a child, Bhoomika wants to learn Bharathanatiyam and since you restricted her, she developed a wish and a dream to build a school for kids to learn almost every arts at extremely low cost. Her dream is my goal. I had already bought a land here in Mumbai and the work will soon see its foundation."

"Aunty, if I had just wanted her, I would have stalked her instead of you for three days. Not only her, I want everybody of  her. Even from Aadhya to you, her garndmother and everybody."

"You know Aadhya?"

"Yes, aunty. The little baby. Your sister's daughter's daughter. I know everybody from your family, aunty. Bhoomika had mentioned every one from your family."

"Oh," she hesitated, "But?"

"I know that 'But'. I understand. The cultural differences. So acceptable. But, aunty, I had already learnt Hindi fluently and so learning everything about your cultures and traditions. Aunty, its not just prayer, it's a 'thavam', thavam for five years straight. All i had, all I got, I put everything on this. Please, aunty, I beg you. Please acce . . "

"My husband won't accept, my relations won't accept but if it takes for my daughter to marry a man like you, I will do anything for it, for my daughter, for you, dear and for your love.."

Chandran's heart literally jumped in happiness, his smile and grin went uncontrolled and unstoppable. He pinched himself many a times.

"But one thing, do my daughter know you are here to convinve me?"

"No, aunt. It would hurt her if you didn't get convinced. So, I thought of informing her if you accepted."

"Perfect, then. Let's give my daughter a surprising shock."

Bhoomika was in Mumbai, then. Her father was in out of station. Her mother sneaked Chandran into her house and hid him behind the couch. 

Bhoomika was in her room.

"Bhoomika, come here, fast."

Bhoomika came running.

"I had found a nice groom for you. He was kind of a son to me. Just think of him as my brother's son. So, what do you say?"

"What?" Bhoomika was perplexed.

"Here's a photo of him." She tossed her the envelope consisting of a photo.

Without opening it, "Oh, mom, why so rush?"

"Rush? You are almost 28." She acted so angry, "Just open the envelope and let's decide on it."

"Please mom, don't . . "

"I said open the envelope." She crossed her hands.

She began to cry.

"What did I say? Just open the envelope."

"Yes, dear, open the envelope."

She stopped her cries when she heard Chandran's voice and her jaws dropped.

She looked her mother and Chandran back and forth, finding so hard to find a clue to what was happening.

But she couldn't find a way.

"Just open the envelope and see who it is, honey," her mother said gently.

She gulped and slowly opened just to see the picture of Chandran and herself together.

Her tears of joy overflowed.

She ran to hug her mother.

"I'll take care of everything, dear. You chose the right person." She smiled and hugged back. "Now, go hug him for God's sakes."

She approached turtle towards him, step by step with the most exquisite blush.

She saw him.

He saw her.

Into each others' eyes.

Into each others' love.

And sunk into it.

Sunk so deep.

Then, came the hug of their lives.

So tight. 

Yet so tender.

After a few moments . . . 

"So, the story worked?" She mumbled.

"Yes," he mumbled back.

"Did she had a clue?"

"Not a thing."

"So when should I fly Tamil Nadu to convince your mother."

"That is for the Part 2."

. . .

CHAPTER 11: A Heaven for My Angel – Part 2

“Hi Auntie, I am Bhoomika.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Auntie, there’s no better way to even begin speaking the thing I got to tell you.” Bhoomika shook her heads, “At least, I couldn’t find any. So, I am gonna jump right into it, right away. I and your son, Chandran . . .  “

“Hold on, dear. I am gonna save you a bunch of time,” she smiled, “Yes.”

Just then she was about to finish her line, Chandran’s mom told this.

Bhoomika was stunned.

“What?” Her words stumbled, “What? Yes for what?”

Chandran’s mother held her hands firm.

“Yes for your love, yes for your marriage.”

The lady smiled.

“Okay.” Bhoomika breathed out deeply, “Okay, as much as I am happy about it, I am so twisted right now. Can you please untangle it, auntie?”

Chandran’s mom laughed. She silenced and sighed after a while.

“Oh, honey, ever since Chandran’s childhood, I didn’t do any,” she gulped. “Anything. As a mother. As one of his parents. The least I could do is to cope up with his dad till he could fee his school expenses. Even his college educational loan was taken care by him. Moreover, he had taken up his brother’s college fees. No one ever have I known has been this responsible in early 20’s. On ever routine days of my life, I could see guys roaming about and around, wearing fancy dresses, riding expensive bikes, enjoying their youth life to their fullest and here my son, at his 23 years of age, wearing checked and tucked in formal dresses, riding his old simple second hand bike, carrying over every family responsibilities, forgetting his own happiness, sacrificing everything he got for family and for me. Oh boy, even winning over the world couldn’t weigh down his everything he had done to me and his brother.” She cried rivers in her eyes.

Bhoomika patted her.

“And I don’t want any part of my soul leave my body with that guilt. I had to do something to my child, something that would make my son happy and then you came, lit lighting diya in his company’s opening ceremony and I knew it. By your look into his eyes, by his look into yours. I have never seen that smile reflecting off from Chandran and by his glow, I knew it and I know what exactly I should do. I may could not exactly weigh down the balance with he had done to us but that smile, that glow of his off his face, I think I could let him have it for the rest of his life.”

“Yes, it hit me strong at first but nothing is important as much as my son’s happiness and if it takes my caste pride to sink it, I couldn’t be so happy to do it. Yes, my relations won’t turn up but that’s okay. I don’t want them to.”

Bhoomika hugged her so hard like she never wanted to leave her.

She cried her tears of joy so hard.

She then came up and narrated the whole exciting news. Her chuckles, her happiness and her grin while doing so, made me real happy.

“Savitha, you are my special person, an angel in my life. I may have thousand words and still not enough to thank for the impact you made in my life, my love life, my lover’s life. Even I wouldn’t have taken care of him this much like you did. I couldn’t imagine my life if you didn’t turn up in Chandran’s life. I couldn’t thank you much.”

I didn’t say anything.

I just hugged her.

“Thank you so much,” she shed her tears.

“It’s okay,” I smiled and patted her.

Then, Chandran came up at my doorsteps.

“You can come in. You won’t find any doorbells in village houses.”

They both laughed and high fived at each other.

“So, how you doing, partner?”

“I couldn’t be more smiling and the reason couldn’t be more than you. And . . . “

“Okay, enough of your emotions. I have had it enough.”

Just then she was about to finish her line, I told this.

“Okay, this is rude. Could anyone at least let this poor boy finish his sentence?”

Both Savitha and Bhoomika laughed.

“Suit up for your marriage,” I said.

So, the marriage preparations were done so fast. Bhoomika and her mother tried so hard to convince her dad. The least they could do is to convince him half minded.

But, on their marriage, seeing his daughter’s exquisite smile and happiness, he guessed it wouldn’t be the end of the world for his daughter to marry her love of her life.

Marriage Plans were perfect. Bhoomika and Chandran, both wanted not to disturb their sentiments in their marriage rituals. So they planned not to follow either of their traditions. They designed their marriage so simple in the way they wanted to.

It was a destination marriage.

Destined in Ooty.

Where else it could be?

And it happened under the night sky.

Under the stars.

With the right star right in front of each other.

With their future before them.

With their love for them.

Most of the relations from Bhoomika didn’t turn up.

Even some from Chandran didn’t turn up either.

And they seldom cared.

They don’t want anyone to make their marriage special.

They have had each other for it.

They have had their love for each other for it.

What could be more special than that?

With Chandran and Bhoomika stepping up on to the stage to marry each other, I guess that’s it.

Yes, that’s it.

I guess my journey through the stars with Chandran reached its final chapter.

. . .

CHAPTER – 12: It’s All About the Right Person

Alright, I was losing my control.

It’s just two hours before the marriage and I was losing my control.

I needed a grip to hold tight.

I ran through my mind to find any distraction, to drift my thoughts away from Chandran.

I saw around.

And I saw a child holding his mom.

It remembered me of Chotu. The days I used to feed him. And one fine day, when I was feeding him, Chandran walked into my doorsteps and that was when we spoke for the first time.

“Oh, God. Chandran, again.” I hit my heads. “Look for something else.”

I saw a handsome man, neatly dressed with the suit.

“Oh, the suit.”

I blew my breath out.

That was not working.

I turned my heads to see the bride and the groom, Chandran and Bhoomika.

And I realized.

I couldn’t imagine any two persons perfect for each other.

If I had gone up to the stage and gave any signs of “I love you, Chandran,” I would have been the most horrible person in the world.

And I put everything to stop ruining their wedding.

So, I decided to move out.

Move out of the wedding hall.

Move out before the wedding.

And when I stepped out, I realized one thing.

The marriage gift.

I got to give him the painting he always wanted.

Two hours before the wedding, I staged myself with a roll pack in my hand.

Each step I stepped towards them, I was like walking barefoot on fire.

“Hi, guys.”

“Hey, hi, Savitha.” Bhoomika and Chandran chuckled.

“Here’s the thing you always wanted.” I handed him the roll pack.

“Oh, the painting. Finally.” Chandran grabbed the pack, “But gifting time is after the wedding.”

“Yes, I know. I just wanted to be the first one to present a marriage gift. That’s why.”

“Aw, how sweet?” Bhoomika grinned.

Chandran was half way opening it.

“No, No.” I stopped him. “You have to open after the wedding.”

“No way. I waited this long and I can’t anymore.”

I tried hard but I couldn’t stop him.

Just then, he was about to open the roll, I said, “Okay, before you open it, here’s a heads up. There will be a boy and a girl in this painting and no matter how bad they look like, you have to believe that the couple in this painting is you and Bhoomika and not anyone else. Alright?”

They both laughed.

“Don’t worry, it is gonna be amazing.” Chandran said and opened up the painting.

As I said, the painting has a boy and a girl.

The boy and the girl were sitting by the banks of a lake.

A beautiful lake.

They were sitting under the shades of an exquisite dark night, dotted with million stars.

With the bicycle adjacent to them.

With each other adjacent to them.

With each other looking at them.

Smiling.

There was a line on the one top corner of the painting.

Which Bhoomika recited out loud.

“Our whole life lies in the dark night. Full of darkness, full of pain. Our family and friends are like the stars. They try to hide the dark but still not enough. Until that one star, the one right star raises. And when it does, our life becomes colorful and bright. Can I be that one star, the right star in your life?”

Bhoomika was amazed and shaken by the line.

“Savitha, the line is so beautiful than the painting itself. I simply loved it.”

I smiled and looked at Chandran.

Chandran remained silent, startled at the painting.

Then he looked at me.

By his look and my tears bubbling to explode in my eyes, I knew it.

I knew he finally knew it.

I saw him and he saw me.

It happened just for five seconds.

And for that five seconds, this wedding hall, this wedding stage, this everything around us and even Bhoomika were blacked out.

It was just me and Chandran in that world.

No one around.

His look was like asking me, “Do you?”

And I almost nodded, pronouncing “Yes.”

Just then I was about to say, “Yes,” that five seconds was over.

“I got to go. I am filling up the space here in the stage.” I said looking down, hiding my tears.

“Okay, dear. Just sit there and don’t go anywhere, I wanna see you when we marry each other.” Bhoomika said.

Without uttering any other word, I moved out.

Moved out of the stage.

Moved out of the wedding hall.

Moved out to the place where I couldn’t see them, couldn’t hear them.

Moved out miles away, now.

Moved out two years away, now.

But the question remains.

Have I moved on?

All these years, if you could remember every incidents, every moments like a clear painting, I think I know it’s a ‘No.’

No, I haven’t moved on.

And I don’t know why.

Even if Chandran comes at my doorsteps now, he doesn’t have to ring the doorbell because he is always welcome in my life.

And why? I don’t know.

I want him, not because I am sad.

Not because I am lonely.

Not because I am obsessed.

And not because I am crazy.

I want him and I don’t know why.

I want to hold his hands and still clueless on why.

And I love that mystery.

And I wish I had that mystery throughout my life.

But then, the reality struck.

It was too late.

Too late, now.

I sat there at the balcony all night long.

Crying.

Reminiscing.

All night along.

And when I was done, I looked up.

And I saw the most colorful and beautiful scene.

The blue sky was slowly covering up with rays of orange transpiring iridescently.

Yes, it was the sun.

Slowly raising, raising over the horizon, raising my hope.

And I did something I hadn’t done in years.

I was smiling.

As the glow glows from the sun, it reflected off my face.

I grabbed my phone and I dialed Daanika.

“I am sorry, Daanu. You are right. It’s all about Chandran.” I sighed, “And I think it’s over now.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes.” I smiled, “And I apologize for behaving so rude last night.”

“Know what, your night is over now and so it’s darkness and it’s pain. Now, it’s the new day, a new chapter.”

I grinned, “I hope so.”

“You know what, life always serves it’s best delicious dishes when you think your dinner was over. I know it’s too hard. Pain may have vanished but the scar? You can never hide it. No matter how badly you want Chandran in you life, he won’t be. He has gone. Forever. But here’s the silver lining.” She sighed.

“No matter how desperately you want, love is not about the person you want. At all. It’s all about the right person you need.” She paused a bit, “The right star, if you will and when he shows up, life becomes colorful and bright.”

Just then, she finished her sentence completely, someone opened the door to my apartment.

“Hold on a second, someone’s coming up.”

I moved closer to the door to see who it was.

“I am sorry. I rang the doorbell so many times. It seems it was not working. That’s why I opened the door myself.”

“It’s alright. How can I help you?” I asked.

“Hi, I am Suriya. I live right across your apartment.” He extended a plateful of sweets.

“Welcome to our apartments. This is our homemade rasagullas and we’ll invite our neighbors by giving this to them.”

Yes, Dhaanika was right.

It’s all about the right person.

. . .

The End