My First Lover

 

"Bye, mom".

"Bye, honey. Remember our mantra?", I said to my daughter.

"Yeah mom, never ever love any guy".

"That's my girl".

Does that mean I am against love?. Certainly not. I have my reasons. No offense to my husband. I have a loads of love on him but everybody, especially girls, will have their first lover, a guy who could rear a girl like no one could. Again, no offense to my husband though. He took care of me like a glass but still it's a real truth that he has to deal with it. Let me recite about my first lover.

Even in this modern digital India, at least down south, daughters are still a burden to parents. Once they reach their 23's, all of a sudden she becomes a load that they have to unload immediately to some random guy but the sons will not be any kind of load and they will do whatever they like to do. They would trip to many places, enjoy their bachelorhood and then marry a girl when they are ready. Strange fact that prevails in the thoughts of  every Indian parents' mind is that they rear their kids advising them not to talk to strangers but they will make their kids marry to some strangers. And my dad is no different to rest of the crowd but he stands out in that crowd because he had some reasons.

Most parents push their kids to study engineering but my dad made me choose what I like, what I love. He would say, "Don't be in the crowd where people forcibly love what they do. Instead, do what you love". Anyways I chose engineering but the thing is that he gave me every freedom to see the world and to explore it and he's so strict about it. Once in my teen age, I asked permission to my dad on a trek to Ooty and I added a lie by saying the crew I am going with comprises only girls. He immediately rejected it saying, "If your crew has no guys, then don't go". I burst out my stomach out of laughter and hugged him. I always wonder how a dad like him, so lenient about my liberty to construe the world can say no to my freedom of choosing a  guy of my love. When I ask this, he used to say, "I have my reasons and you will know it when it's time" - the same words I am telling to my daughter now. 

The times passed. I finished my college and finally able to grab a job of my dream. When the offer letter hit my mail box, I was so happy. My mom fed me laddo and gulab jamun on that joyous occasion. Finally, my dad broke the ice after 23 years. He made me sit in the dining room along with my mom. I still remember every words as inscribed in a rock. 

"The time has finally came my princess". I leaned towards him gesturing a keen attention. "First of all I am so sorry for plucking away your freedom of choosing your guy of your love. Well, instead of saying that I plucked away your freedom, let's just say I took your freedom and kept it safe with me and I tell you why". He cleared his throat and held my hands. 

"The biggest secret that I and your mother holds away from you is that ours is a love marriage". I went a wide-eyed "What". 

"I know that's a huge surprise", he said.

I took away my hands from his. "Surprise?. Oh dad, surprise and shock has two different sense and meanings". 

"Alright, but there's a reason why we didn't want you to fall in love all these times", he said calmly with a charm he always used to have with me. I went about asking multiple whys and what he replied was my lifetime wisdom.

"We both used to have our own first love and we both ended up been cheated. Your mom's guy cheated her for another girl and my girl choose another guy over me. It happened to us in our college. We didn't study in the same college but we used to work in the same company. We both hated love. I don't know whether the common mindset or some other thing but one thing leads to one another and before we knew it we both were in love. We used to discuss things on why we failed in our first love. Yeah, of course the reason is we both chose a wrong person and why we chose a wrong person was a big query. We ended up with a convincing answer. We loved at the wrong age and that age's excitement is the reason to it". He pulled the chair closer towards me.

"First, we had to find ourselves in a better position and then, that maturity grabbed, when we stand in our own legs will find us a person who fits right in our life. We must first find love in ourselves, find what we love to do, what is our passion and vision in our life and then finally find your love. Common things and synchronization between a couple is the most important in a relationship and that thing can only be attained in this way".

"Now that you finally achieved your job of your interest, you are now at the time of choosing your love. Hereafter, you don't need me. Even though your job's location is closer to our home, don't stay here. Rent a room, pay your own bills and dues and learn to save money. Don't take me wrong. When you find any difficulties, I'll show up no matter what. But that won't last long too. Dad's getting old and one day will perish away". He laughed. I stared at him. "Paah?".

"Oh, come on, it happens. And when that day comes, I want you to face the world without any fear. So, don't come to home every weekends. Party with your amigos. Trip to new places. It's more than enough if you just come to our home in festive occasions. But don't lavish away your money though. Save it and invest on it. Have some secondary source. Learn to freelance at your free time. Bachelorhood is where you both have to enjoy and be responsible about it too. Don't marry until you do these all. Marry when you're finally ready, when you think you can do it. Use your wings that has finally ripened and grown. There are both rainbows and storms in the sky. Learn to fly accordingly. Don't ask me how. Find it on your own, my darling. I don't want to bore with any more words. So finally now you can fly off". He kissed my hand.

"Hey dad, you know what. I have a secret of my own too", He frowned and shrinked his eyes. "I had already found my love".

"Who is it?", my dad asked.

"You are".